Friday, July 27, 2007
Hanging Tough - New Kids on the Block
OMG, OMG. This song did not get better with age. Actually reading and listening to the lyrics clarifies what I always believed about NKotB - they're creatures sent by Beelzebub to interfere with rational thought. They're eeeeeeeeeeeeevil.
This video is the song put to scenes from Buffy. I like the show, but there's some hilarity in the juxtaposition. See how I use big words?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance.
(rap:) just get on the floor and do the new kids’ dance.
Don’t worry ’bout nothing ’cause it won’t take long.
(rap:) we’re gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, ’cause you gotta be
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
(rap:) we’re rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Everybody’s always talkin’ ’bout who’s on top.
(rap:) don’t cross our path ’cause you’re gonna get stomped.
We ain’t gonna give anybody any slack.
(rap:) and if you try to keep us down we’re gonna come right back,
And you know we’re
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
(rap:) we’re rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
(instrumental break)
Get loose everybody ’cause we’re gonna do our thing.
(rap:) ’cause you know it ain’t over ’till the fat lady sings.
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
(rap:) we’re rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just hangin’ tough, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin’ tough.
(repeat & fade)
This video is the song put to scenes from Buffy. I like the show, but there's some hilarity in the juxtaposition. See how I use big words?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance.
(rap:) just get on the floor and do the new kids’ dance.
Don’t worry ’bout nothing ’cause it won’t take long.
(rap:) we’re gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, ’cause you gotta be
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
(rap:) we’re rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Everybody’s always talkin’ ’bout who’s on top.
(rap:) don’t cross our path ’cause you’re gonna get stomped.
We ain’t gonna give anybody any slack.
(rap:) and if you try to keep us down we’re gonna come right back,
And you know we’re
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
(rap:) we’re rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
(instrumental break)
Get loose everybody ’cause we’re gonna do our thing.
(rap:) ’cause you know it ain’t over ’till the fat lady sings.
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
(rap:) we’re rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just hangin’ tough, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin’ tough.
(repeat & fade)
Friday, July 20, 2007
Bremelo - Sir Mix-A-Lot
Our friend Jeff sent along this bonus entry today. The lyrics are actually funny as hell; I think the subject matter qualifies it as a Bad Song.
I couldn't find any sort of video for it, but I did find this clip of His Mixness talking about the origin of the song and his Bremerton experiences:
Sir Mix-A-Lot on Bremerton and its 'los
Here's a gory kinda story, 'bout an obese freak
With a forty inch waist and a ten inch beak,
Overweight and out of shape with a triple chin,
Her brassiere strikes fear in the hearts of men,
The Girls a bremelo
The Girls a bremelo
Me and Terry hopped a ferry, we were lookin Swass
When a dip hit the ship we were almost tossed
It was a big bremelo standing on my toe,
An enormous jelly-belly tryin' to say hello
I was really kinda frightened as she looked my way,
I tried to run because here buns made the ferry sway
To be blunt she was fat and ready for combat
On the way to Bremerton where the fat is at,
The Girls a bremelo.
Let's Go!
I'm not fakin' or mistaken' 'bout the big ol' duck,
She had hairy underarms and a whoppin' gut,
Her hair was short and wavy, drove my pit bull crazy,
A Bremerton beast chasin' fella's in the Navy,
At the movie she's the feature, the Bremerton creature,
Ya' wear a life jacket if ya ever try and freak her
Look at her physique, she ain't my kinda freak,
The floor creaks when the beast starts reaching her peak
The Girls a bremelo.
She's just a bremelo.
Change the beat!
You can't ignore the way she snores 'cuz she blows down doors,
Baby's got the kinda face only a mother adores,
A big basket ball head, with her ten inch feet,
Big lips, No hips, with the smell of a beast,
I couldn't put her in my Caddy or my tranny would break,
I've heard of dirt because of poverty, but she took the cake,
When it comes to Kool-Aid©, the girl would drink it in pints,
Ya go to school for twenty years and ya still in the ninth?
Ya just a bremelo.
Just a bremelo.
You big, triple chinned, unattractive duck,
Ya boyfriend beats freaks up to make a buck,
Hangin' 'round Third & Pike on a ten speed bike,
you could say that I'm a liar, but ya know I'm right
Ya talk behind my back because I dropped you flat,
And ya never take a shower 'cuz ya too damn fat
So ya man was smart when he broke your heart
Because if Mix-A-Lot'd cut cha youd'a fell apart
Wearing Polyester slacks with elastic in the back
You could flat'n squash a nigga in a wrestling match
Ya got lips like a character in some cartoon
With a pink posterior ya big baboon
Ya just a (Elephant Trumpet)
(Elephant Trumpet)
Now Bremerton's a city right outside of mine,
Most girls there are ducks but a few are fine
But the ones that I speak about, use their faces catching trout,
Vacuum cleaners for a mouth, You know what I'm talkin' 'bout
Mud Ducks, Hocky Pucks, Drivers of Mack© trucks,
Lame brains, Deisel Trains, to pick them up you have to strain,
Big Butt, Crew Cut, Extra-Ordinary Gut,
Big Mamma kinda bod, make ya kinda rough
I couldn't find any sort of video for it, but I did find this clip of His Mixness talking about the origin of the song and his Bremerton experiences:
Sir Mix-A-Lot on Bremerton and its 'los
Here's a gory kinda story, 'bout an obese freak
With a forty inch waist and a ten inch beak,
Overweight and out of shape with a triple chin,
Her brassiere strikes fear in the hearts of men,
The Girls a bremelo
The Girls a bremelo
Me and Terry hopped a ferry, we were lookin Swass
When a dip hit the ship we were almost tossed
It was a big bremelo standing on my toe,
An enormous jelly-belly tryin' to say hello
I was really kinda frightened as she looked my way,
I tried to run because here buns made the ferry sway
To be blunt she was fat and ready for combat
On the way to Bremerton where the fat is at,
The Girls a bremelo.
Let's Go!
I'm not fakin' or mistaken' 'bout the big ol' duck,
She had hairy underarms and a whoppin' gut,
Her hair was short and wavy, drove my pit bull crazy,
A Bremerton beast chasin' fella's in the Navy,
At the movie she's the feature, the Bremerton creature,
Ya' wear a life jacket if ya ever try and freak her
Look at her physique, she ain't my kinda freak,
The floor creaks when the beast starts reaching her peak
The Girls a bremelo.
She's just a bremelo.
Change the beat!
You can't ignore the way she snores 'cuz she blows down doors,
Baby's got the kinda face only a mother adores,
A big basket ball head, with her ten inch feet,
Big lips, No hips, with the smell of a beast,
I couldn't put her in my Caddy or my tranny would break,
I've heard of dirt because of poverty, but she took the cake,
When it comes to Kool-Aid©, the girl would drink it in pints,
Ya go to school for twenty years and ya still in the ninth?
Ya just a bremelo.
Just a bremelo.
You big, triple chinned, unattractive duck,
Ya boyfriend beats freaks up to make a buck,
Hangin' 'round Third & Pike on a ten speed bike,
you could say that I'm a liar, but ya know I'm right
Ya talk behind my back because I dropped you flat,
And ya never take a shower 'cuz ya too damn fat
So ya man was smart when he broke your heart
Because if Mix-A-Lot'd cut cha youd'a fell apart
Wearing Polyester slacks with elastic in the back
You could flat'n squash a nigga in a wrestling match
Ya got lips like a character in some cartoon
With a pink posterior ya big baboon
Ya just a (Elephant Trumpet)
(Elephant Trumpet)
Now Bremerton's a city right outside of mine,
Most girls there are ducks but a few are fine
But the ones that I speak about, use their faces catching trout,
Vacuum cleaners for a mouth, You know what I'm talkin' 'bout
Mud Ducks, Hocky Pucks, Drivers of Mack© trucks,
Lame brains, Deisel Trains, to pick them up you have to strain,
Big Butt, Crew Cut, Extra-Ordinary Gut,
Big Mamma kinda bod, make ya kinda rough
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad - Meat Loaf
From Debbie, who especially likes the stuttering lyrics.
Here's a video someone made that fits the song great, cause the show is obviously an insipid nightmare:
Baby we can talk a-all night, but that ain't getting us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can, there's nothin' left inside of here
And maybe you can cry a-all night, but that'll never cha-ange the way that I feel
The snow is really piling up outside, I wish you wouldn't make me lea-eave here
I poured it on and I poured it ou-out, I tried to show you just how much I care
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout
But you've been cold to me so long, I'm cryin' icicles instead of tears
And all I can do, is keep on tellin' you
I want you (I want you), I need you (I need you)
But there ain't no way-ay I'm ever gonna lo-ove you
Now don't be sad (don't be sad 'cause)
'Cause two out of three ai-ain't bad
Now don't - be-ee sad, ('cause) 'cause two out of three ain't bad
You'll never find your go-old on a sandy beach
You'll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you're lookin' for a ruby in a mountain of rocks
But there ain't no Coupe de Ville hidin' at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box
I can't lie (I can't lie...)
I can't tell you that I'm somethin' I'm not
No matter how I try, I'll never be able
To give you somethin', somethin' that I just haven't got (woh-oh)
Well there's only one girl that I will ever love
And that was so many year-ears ago
And though I know I'll never get her out of my heart
She never loved me back, ooh-ooh I know
Well I remember how she left me on a stormy night
Ahh, she kissed me and got out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her not to walk out that door
She packed her bags and turned right away-ay-ay
And she kept on tellin' me
Here's a video someone made that fits the song great, cause the show is obviously an insipid nightmare:
Baby we can talk a-all night, but that ain't getting us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can, there's nothin' left inside of here
And maybe you can cry a-all night, but that'll never cha-ange the way that I feel
The snow is really piling up outside, I wish you wouldn't make me lea-eave here
I poured it on and I poured it ou-out, I tried to show you just how much I care
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout
But you've been cold to me so long, I'm cryin' icicles instead of tears
And all I can do, is keep on tellin' you
I want you (I want you), I need you (I need you)
But there ain't no way-ay I'm ever gonna lo-ove you
Now don't be sad (don't be sad 'cause)
'Cause two out of three ai-ain't bad
Now don't - be-ee sad, ('cause) 'cause two out of three ain't bad
You'll never find your go-old on a sandy beach
You'll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you're lookin' for a ruby in a mountain of rocks
But there ain't no Coupe de Ville hidin' at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box
I can't lie (I can't lie...)
I can't tell you that I'm somethin' I'm not
No matter how I try, I'll never be able
To give you somethin', somethin' that I just haven't got (woh-oh)
Well there's only one girl that I will ever love
And that was so many year-ears ago
And though I know I'll never get her out of my heart
She never loved me back, ooh-ooh I know
Well I remember how she left me on a stormy night
Ahh, she kissed me and got out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her not to walk out that door
She packed her bags and turned right away-ay-ay
And she kept on tellin' me
Friday, July 13, 2007
Bonus selection! Loving You - Minnie Riperton
Selected by Debbie's cow-orkers, this gem is a true stinker, as bad as any we've had. I do, however, have a good video to go with it:
Loving you
Is easy because you're beautiful....
Making love with you
Is all I want to do....
Loving you
Is more than just a dream come true....
And everything that I do
Is out of loving you....
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring....
Stay with me while we grow old....
And we will live each day in spring time....
Because loving you....
Has made my life so beautiful....
And every day of my life
Is filled with loving you....
Loving you....
I see your soul come shining through....
And everytime that we....
Oh I'm more in love with you....
La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la
Ooo ee oo ee oo
Loving you
Is easy because you're beautiful....
Making love with you
Is all I want to do....
Loving you
Is more than just a dream come true....
And everything that I do
Is out of loving you....
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring....
Stay with me while we grow old....
And we will live each day in spring time....
Because loving you....
Has made my life so beautiful....
And every day of my life
Is filled with loving you....
Loving you....
I see your soul come shining through....
And everytime that we....
Oh I'm more in love with you....
La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la
Ooo ee oo ee oo
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
Argh. I say, argh. Contributed by Debbie.
Today's video is a special one: it's Bonnie Tyler doing the song as a duet with Xena Warrior Princess. Yow!
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
INSTRUMENTAL
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be
Turnaround, Every now then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing that I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Today's video is a special one: it's Bonnie Tyler doing the song as a duet with Xena Warrior Princess. Yow!
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
INSTRUMENTAL
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be
Turnaround, Every now then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing that I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Friday, July 6, 2007
Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung
Any song where the band sings their own name as part of the chorus is just too Department-of-Redundancy-Department for me. Plus, repetitive meat-hook chorus and funny-looking band members featured prominently in the video! It's everything you need!
As a special bonus, here's Kids Incorporated, covering the original bad song with an even badder version. It's bad.
I'd drive a million miles
To be with you tonight
So if you're feeling low
Turn up your radio
The words we use are strong
They make reality
But now the music's on
Oh baby dance with me
Rip it up - move down
Rip it up - move it down to the ground
Rip it up - cool down
Rip it up - don't hang it on the borderline
Chorus:
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody Wang Chung tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody Wang Chung tonight
Everybody have fun
Deep in the world tonight
Our hearts beat safe and sound
I'll hold you so close
Just let yourself go down
Rip it up - move down
Rip it up - move it down to the ground
Rip it up - cool down
Rip it up - get out what's inside of you
Repeat Chorus
On the edge of oblivion
And all the world is Babylon
And all the love and everyone
A ship of fools sailing on
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Across the nation, around the world
Everybody have fun tonight
A celebration so spread the word
Repeat Chorus
As a special bonus, here's Kids Incorporated, covering the original bad song with an even badder version. It's bad.
I'd drive a million miles
To be with you tonight
So if you're feeling low
Turn up your radio
The words we use are strong
They make reality
But now the music's on
Oh baby dance with me
Rip it up - move down
Rip it up - move it down to the ground
Rip it up - cool down
Rip it up - don't hang it on the borderline
Chorus:
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody Wang Chung tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody Wang Chung tonight
Everybody have fun
Deep in the world tonight
Our hearts beat safe and sound
I'll hold you so close
Just let yourself go down
Rip it up - move down
Rip it up - move it down to the ground
Rip it up - cool down
Rip it up - get out what's inside of you
Repeat Chorus
On the edge of oblivion
And all the world is Babylon
And all the love and everyone
A ship of fools sailing on
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Across the nation, around the world
Everybody have fun tonight
A celebration so spread the word
Repeat Chorus
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